Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas is not about me anymore

A funny thing happened while preparing for the festivities this year. I realized I didn't care what I got from whom or what sort of bizarre, inappropriate comment my Aunt might make at our Christmas Eve celebration. I was instead excited about the reaction Liam would have to his toy train his Grandparents got him. I was curious about what new foods he would get to try at dinner-(green bean casserole, strangely a hit). I also got this sort of primal desire to make sure he was the center of attention- it is his first Christmas after all and while we are still trying to define what traditions we will establish as a new family unit, I wanted these first memories to be extraodinary in a Clark Griswold sort of way. I also disregarded all of my own hang ups about how my family does or doesn't act and my frustrated, sometimes disappointed response to it all. Instead I actually cherished the moments as they happened, relishing in Liam's giggles and the intensity in which he chewed on a Christmas card. Today I understood the extraodinary is appreciating the ordinary, what the day presents us with. Tomorrow my new found awareness may be fleeting, but today I have Christmas.