Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Feminine Mistake?

My feathers have been ruffled a bit of late due to the release and subsequent media coverage of Leslie Bennetts' book "The Feminine Mistake" which portrays a woman's choice to switch gears professionally to care for children as financial suicide. I have so many issues and thoughts about this premise that I am unsure where to begin. I do need to preface my rant with the fact that I have not read the book, but plan to. I have, however, seen interviews with Ms. Bennett and read many points of view on the matter. Ms. Bennett claims that stay at home moms are essentially subscribing to the "prince charming" or "white knight" fairy tale of being a kept woman and will never fully overcome the road block in their career path. She also suggests that this choice naively puts faith in your partner's commitment to you and the family you have created together, also perpetuating fear with concerns about your husband's imminent death or job loss. Granted, the later two situations would be devastating in so many ways but I can't imaging my working would lessen the blow to our family that either loss would have. And I just can't help but wonder how healthy it is to live your life in fear of divorce- has the commitment of marriage become so passe that the idea of one actually withstanding the test of time so foreign? In a society which has become much more conservatively based over the last few years and somewhat obsessively focused on what constitutes a "family"- I find it interesting that we aren't more supportive or even tolerant of women who make the personal sacrifice to cultivate our future generations. Our views are so skewed on this matter- as evident by my sister's recent proposal for me to care for her child (due in the fall) in effort to provide me with the opportunity to "have a little money of my own". The "kept woman" factor I suppose. I personally do not see this issue as a woman's burden- I see it as an issue to be addressed within the infrastructure of our society's workplace. We should be doing more to reintegrate women back into the professional world following our commitment to raising a family. After all, who is a better multitasker than a mom? Ms. Bennetts claims that 37% of a woman's financial earnings are lost after three years out of the workplace- but what about the earnings of an employed mom that are sucked into high priced child care? This issue is definitely bigger than stay at home verses employed moms. This is an issue that needs to be addressed among our elected officials and through legislation that supports families within an administration which claims to put children and families first. How about a little respect and support for all mothers, all families, who do their best every day to raise children to the best of our abilities?