Spring Cleaning

This past weekend I went on a Women's Spring Cleansing Retreat. Not only was it the first time I was away from home overnight in about three and a half years, it was the first night/s away from my boy. I missed him intensely, especially at predictable times when I knew he'd be eating dinner or getting ready for bed. Waking up in the morning without a toddler to care for was a bit surreal. However.......

I had a fabulous time. I spent the time with fifteen other women of all ages and backgrounds, only a couple of whom I'd ever met before, none of whom I had intimate relationships with. We quickly became a community set on cultivating an environment of relaxation and sisterhood. Being that it was a time of cleansing, we ate a raw food diet, did yoga and mediation, had steam facials and a variety of other things to detox our bodies and minds. By Sunday morning, I felt rejuvenated. I spent time with myself and other women without the limitations of a schedule or family obligations. I existed in the moment and the moments occurred with a natural rhythm that I did not feel the need to control. It was liberating.

I also, for the first time in a long time, felt like the woman at the essence of my soul. Who I am at the core, without all of the self imposed expectations and judgments, attended this weekend retreat. I realized I have missed her intensely too. She is witty, engaging, intuitive and introspective and much more fun to be around than her replacement over the past couple of years. She is who I am which means she is Liam's mom, Chris' wife. I am not these roles, they are part of me.

I hope to make such an event an annual outing. Being away for the weekend was good practice for the upcoming months of intense training I'll be participating in for my yoga certification. I am looking forward to the journey ahead.

Sun Salutations

A little over a month ago a winter storm piled on thirteen inches of snow bringing with it the harsh reminder that, regardless of what the meteorological calendar says, Spring was still almost two weeks away. The Vernal Equinox came and went and it continued to be cold and cloudy and for a lot of us, downright miserable. It didn't help that Daylight Saving Time occurred the same weekend of the blizzard stretching out these dreadful, dreary days like a bad movie that just won't end. A cruel last minute joke of winter's cohort, Seasonal Affective Disorder. I needed a sunshine fix like the worst of junkies, my own personal Prozac.

And then, this week, it came. Bright and shining and warm. Not like the brief burst of sunlight you get occasionally during winter's days but complete with birds singing and grass greening and flowers blooming. Mornings, afternoons, evenings, all spent outside worshiping the most glorious of celestial energies. There were bikes, and balls and open windows bringing the season alive with play and lifting spirits all around.

This could be the unrecognized gift of cold snowy days, of mid March blizzards. They allow us to greet the sun with the fiery passion it demands, the gratitude for the encompassing warmth it provides. It is through the longing for temperatures above freezing that provides the opportunity for change, growth and renewal we so desperately need after the stagnancy of winter days.

Welcome, sun. It is with open arms I greet you.