Practice makes Perfect

Okay, not really. Perfection is not really what we are striving for as the journey is an evolving one with the ebb and flow of ever changing needs and circumstances. Today, this is what I told myself as I dealt with an unwilling participant at naptime. He had fallen asleep for mere minutes in the car while out running errands with a friend and subsequently decided he was not interested in napping at his regular time this afternoon. So my normal response would be to get angry and try to exert some sort of control over the situation, thus perpetuating my anger and frustration and down the spiral we go. Today, I took a breath, in fact I took many breaths, and I met the situation where we were at. We sang, we rocked, we cuddled, he struggled, but I stayed calm, present explaining I knew he was having trouble settling down, but it was naptime and momma would stay with him until he was ready and comfortable. He rubbed his eyes, sucked his thumb, cuddled his blankie all the while saying "no, don't want" for almost an hour. Then it came, the moment when he surrendered to the now and his own immediate needs and he relaxed. I laid him in his warm safe bed and watched him for a few moments before walking out and closing the door. His perfect little form snuggled under his blanket in that sweet state of slumber.

Being present gave us the space to deal with our needs, embracing those needs allowed us to meet them in a compassionate way. A tiny lesson learned for this moment, today.

Perfect.

I Yell Because I Care

Apropos to my last post this was the theme to our recent family vacation, the first since baby Liam (who isn't much of a baby anymore) was born. I saw this phrase on a plaque in a funny little boutique in Asheville and though it was meant do be a bit sardonic I suppose, I thought it was created just for me. A bit sad, I know.

Our five day trip landed us in Asheville, NC which is a quaint little progressive city nestled in the mountains of the Tennessee/Carolina border and we all fell in love with the landscape and atmosphere that the environment had to offer. We were, however, all a bit tired of mountain driving by the time we left but glad we went none the same. Liam did beautifully with the transition and would have done much better if his control freak mom could have relaxed a bit. Sigh. Practice, practice, practice.

There is something about experiencing new things with the family you have created that speaks to the very essence of why we have children. Seeing my two and a quarter year old son scaling rocks on a mountain with no regard of fear or imminent bodily harm was a bit of a reality check for this mom who was white knuckled and hyperventilating the whole time. Don't even get me started on the swinging bridge. Ask Liam what he did on vacation and he'll tell you he "climbed rocks", "go through tunnel" and about the "grey kitty" we had visiting us daily outside our vacation home. These adventures were enough for him and more than exceeded his expectation of the trip because HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY! He was perfectly content with what each day had to offer because it was exciting and new and he was with his two favorite people in the world (now with the exception of grey kitty). And you know what, in spite of all of the yelling that may or may not have occurred, it was enough for us too.