First Trimester Hiatus

It has been a long time since I waxed poetic here. Right after my last visit we found out a new life has chosen us as his/her new family so between first trimester fatigue, the holidays and a needy toddler, there hasn't been much time to organize my thoughts in this space. I am going into my fourteenth week and things seem to be settling down a bit (for now) and I felt like I needed to connect here again. Being so early still in the pregnancy, I am still feeling slightly ambivalent about things. It has sort of a possibility in the distant future quality to it, as though a baby may or may not be coming in the next six months. Being pregnant for a second time while caring for an older toddler hasn't allowed me the luxury or ability to feel consumed by all things "what to expect" as my focus is elsewhere. I have also felt slightly better than I remember with my first, and I felt pretty good with him, so the thoughts of "am I really pregnant?" can be somewhat frequent. My barely noticeable to the naked eye expanding belly is starting to expand a bit more so it won't be long until the impending arrival of a new baby is known to the casual observer. Absent and not helping the matters of ambivalence is the instinctual knowledge of what the gender of the baby is that I had immediately with Liam. "Knowing" made it easier for not knowing when it came time for the routine ultrasound so we'll see if I can hold out again this time.

This family journey runs parallel to a personal journey I've embarked on beginning this month. I began my teacher training program and will be certified to teach yoga at the the 200 hour level by June. It has been a big commitment, but one I am excited and proud to have made. I am excited about all of the possibilities this will bring to my life's path and it is an incredible opportunity to be integrating the teachings of yoga with my pregnancy. I am sure more is to come on that later.

For now, I am doing my best to take in each moment as it comes and appreciate what is in front of me because I am all too aware of how quickly things change and the certainty of uncertainty. The joy is in the journey.