Nursing the Mother

In efforts to prepare Liam for someone other than momma putting him to bed (daddy perhaps), I took nursing out of the bedtime routine. Guess who is having a difficult time with the transition? Liam is perfectly happy with PJ's, "The Going to Bed Book", daily gratitudes and then off to Never Neverland. I, however, miss that quiet time, the last contact of the day, where all of the stressors we've endured together throughout our daily rituals dissolve into those last moments. It was kind of like our silent acknowledgement that we had survived another day together- in spite of the crying, yelling and sometimes throwing of objects that had occurred. Or better yet, a celebration that we'd made it through in absence of such theatrics. Nursing has been one of my favorite parts of motherhood, but also one of the most difficult daily hurdles to overcome. The enormity of it cannot be explained but to those who have been through it. To provide sustenance for another human being, a human being that you created, is an incredible accomplishment, and responsibility. I guess I am getting a glimpse into how difficult it will be for me to relinquish that responsibility. The only constant is change, I am quickly learning, especially while becoming a mother.