Becoming Your Mother

Motherhood is full of fears- fears of inadequacy, fears of failure, fears of what you cannot control such as illness or outside influences. But the biggest fear of all is the fear of becoming your mother. The vast continuum in which the dynamics of mother/daughter relations flow is complex at best, but even the healthiest of those relationships hold examples of child rearing that we as daughters do not wish to channel as mothers to our own children. For some, including myself, the fear of mothering your own child as you were mothered can be debilitating. Knowing the effects that an angry, unpredictable and sometimes unstable environment can have on a child, you tell yourself you WILL NOT do that to your own child. But the unknown of parenting rears it's ugly head and in the moment you recognize pieces of a past you fought hard to overcome. The truth is those moments are when you have the greatest opportunity to become the best mother you can be. Acknowledge them, accept them and then redefine them. Find the lesson to be learned during those moments, for that awareness creates for us the ability to evolve through our experiences and accept what works and discard the rest. It is at our most vulnerable when we can see the effects that our childhoods has had on us, but it is also at our most vulnerable that we find our inner strength to transcend the past. Try defining your experiences instead of letting your experiences define you. Then you can begin to embrace the similarities to your own upbringing and revel in the differences in the way you care for your child today. How liberating would that be! This is what "practicing" motherhood is all about. Thanks Stephanie....