Things we lost in an hour

I remember when "falling back" meant an extra hour of sleep (or an extra hour of partying depending on what stage of my life I am reflecting back on). Parents see the shift from Daylight Saving Time from a whole new perspective. The only thing I can come close to comparing it to is when I worked third shift in a drug and alcohol rehab facility and would get stuck working that extra hour making an already long night seem like eternity. Trying to force a baby or toddler to adapt to the change is like trying to force the tide in the opposite direction. So why we decide to transition our boy to a "big boy" toddler bed the night after the time change is a lapse in parental judgment it may take years for me to rationalize.

Liam was excited about his new bed and made no objections at all as we disassembled his crib and carried it in pieces upstairs. He even 'helped' put together the new bed although I suspect his helping increased his Dad's frustration with the project. After several hours of rearranging and strategizing, the big boy room was complete and I cried like a baby. This was reality check time and no longer would I rock my boy, scoop him up and tuck him in his crib safe and sound for the night. Liam made this painfully clear by climbing in the bed and proceeding to jump on and off of it all full speed once it was put together. That first night he was up several times
after sleeping soundly through the night for the better part of the last year and a half. Not only that, it later became apparent that he spent some portion of the nighttime wandering (in the pitch dark) through the basement pulling out games and toys and tossing them all over the floor. A gate in his doorway and a lock on the basement door followed the next day.

We are still working out the kinks of this transition and everyone's sense of security appears to have been dismantled with the crib. Our fairly reliable routine of putting Liam to bed in the evening not to hear from him again until at least 7 o'clock the next morning has been lost as well and the nights of tossing in bed anticipating the boy's cries have returned for me in an unwelcome fashion. Who knew gaining an hour could take so much.

I know the only constant is change and this too shall pass but the one loss that will not be found is the fantasy of holding on to my baby forever. One more milestone on the path of motherhood paved.