Moving On.......

I am here to provide a sense of closure to the journey this space has taken me on as I realize that it has been seven months since I traveled down its path. I feel so different yet so familiar as a result of the growth that has taken place through my writings and musings but am no longer compelled to articulate my experience which now seems so distant and impersonal. Perhaps that is my fault for not honoring my commitment to the frequency of writing I intended, perhaps it is the natural progression of things. Whatever the reason, i am saying goodbye.

My departure comes with a few new and exciting aspects to my "practice". I completed my yoga certification and will hopefully be teaching in some capacity come fall. I met an amazing and eclectic group of people and will carry the experience with me in yoga and in life.

Sloane Elizabeth arrived in our lives on July 13th in a predictable intense and rapid fashion. She is the completion of something I didn't realize was lacking and has continued to inspire, challenge and strengthen my mothering journey in ways similar and foreign to that of her brother. I adore her.

Practice, practice, practice.

First Trimester Hiatus

It has been a long time since I waxed poetic here. Right after my last visit we found out a new life has chosen us as his/her new family so between first trimester fatigue, the holidays and a needy toddler, there hasn't been much time to organize my thoughts in this space. I am going into my fourteenth week and things seem to be settling down a bit (for now) and I felt like I needed to connect here again. Being so early still in the pregnancy, I am still feeling slightly ambivalent about things. It has sort of a possibility in the distant future quality to it, as though a baby may or may not be coming in the next six months. Being pregnant for a second time while caring for an older toddler hasn't allowed me the luxury or ability to feel consumed by all things "what to expect" as my focus is elsewhere. I have also felt slightly better than I remember with my first, and I felt pretty good with him, so the thoughts of "am I really pregnant?" can be somewhat frequent. My barely noticeable to the naked eye expanding belly is starting to expand a bit more so it won't be long until the impending arrival of a new baby is known to the casual observer. Absent and not helping the matters of ambivalence is the instinctual knowledge of what the gender of the baby is that I had immediately with Liam. "Knowing" made it easier for not knowing when it came time for the routine ultrasound so we'll see if I can hold out again this time.

This family journey runs parallel to a personal journey I've embarked on beginning this month. I began my teacher training program and will be certified to teach yoga at the the 200 hour level by June. It has been a big commitment, but one I am excited and proud to have made. I am excited about all of the possibilities this will bring to my life's path and it is an incredible opportunity to be integrating the teachings of yoga with my pregnancy. I am sure more is to come on that later.

For now, I am doing my best to take in each moment as it comes and appreciate what is in front of me because I am all too aware of how quickly things change and the certainty of uncertainty. The joy is in the journey.