Sowing the Seeds of Love

This past weekend was the first time my husband and I have been away alone together since the boy was born. Almost two and a half years is a long time to go with very minimal cultivation of the garden which is your relationship. I have written here before about how difficult it is adapting to the change in dynamic that the transformation from couple to parents brings, but it is equally as difficult sometimes to reconnect to the place where our former selves reside. Evenings out alone tend to be a couple of hours over dinner and drinks spent rehashing the day or a previous disagreement or discussing parenting strategies in a space that is not surrounded by constant interruption. This was different. We owned this time, which was days not hours, it was not borrowed from evenings of bath and bedtime rituals. We left on Thursday for his best friend's wedding and returned Sunday afternoon refreshed and renewed, having had ample opportunities to sit alone, individually with our thoughts and together as the couple who made each other laugh, supported each other and fell in love.

So this is what I learned. Those two people who fell in love are the same two people who created a child, a wonderful boy who shares the best (and a few of the worst) parts of us. We just have added a new dimension to our relationship, one that at times feels consuming, but is really an enhancement of who we are at the core. The struggles strengthen us if we allow ourselves to absorb the lessons within those struggles. When we honor those experiences instead of denying them, we grow together not apart.

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I heard Bette Midler's 'The Rose" the other day in a department store and it took on a whole new, somewhat profound significance for me. The seed, struggling through the cold, hard winter and blossoming to a beautiful, magnificent flower with the warmth of the sun. I know, I know but love and relationships aren't always perfect and it takes the dark cold winter to bring about the warm, brightness of Spring. It's all in our perspective. Plant a seed.